What Would Craig David Do? WWCDD

If you live in Lagos, then you must know about its infamous traffic. That is a given. Unless you are a hermit. But even stories get around to hermits.

There are a lot of crazy things I see in traffic when I am driving to work in the morning. It’s unlike anywhere in the world. I once saw a man transform into a woman in the car right next to me. Okay maybe I exaggerate a bit, but after watching her doll herself in makeup and drape a wig over her head I was mortified to realize that the person driving that car was actually a woman. And she did all that with one hand on the steering. In traffic!

Mind you, I can barely eat a shawarma with one hand while driving; the car will start veering into the next lane. The other day, this particular dude took the time to wash his car- interior and all- in traffic… Okay, now you know I am just messing with you. But you get my drift; that Lagos’ traffic situation is hellish and you can just about accomplish anything you want to in it. No rush.

But you know what is worse than Lagos traffic? It is being stuck in Lagos traffic with a nagging girlfriend or wife or both in your car. I had this unfortunate experience and I had forgotten about it because it was a long time ago. Until I heard Craig David’s Walking Away on the car radio while I was driving to work yesterday morning.

I had just watched a guy fix his rear lights in traffic- apparently street hawkers not only sell car parts now but have also learned to fix them in record time, on the go. Who says the traffic is such a bad thing; do you know how many people feed off it? After that enlightening scene, I decided to switch radio channels for something soothing. I am a Classic FM person but I switch to Smooth FM when the ads become too much (which is ironic because I am an ad man) and Craig David’s Walking Away began to play on the radio. I smiled in recollection.

Flashback years ago, I was in my late teens. The Y2K scare was no longer a bother, something called “the internet” was getting popular and this cool 19 year old Brit named Craig David had just dropped one of the most popping RnB albums of the year: Born To Do It.

 

Fresh-faced me, I was a stark raving fan. Almost everything I did had a Craig David influence to it; my teddies were thinly trimmed to meet at my chin like Craig David, I spoke in cool dulcet tones like Craig David, and even wore turn-up jeans with white sneakers just like Craig David. If I could, I would have done my hair in that trademark twisted lattice pattern but I couldn’t. Not while I was still on a first name basis with my parish priest. It wasn’t only Galileo who suffered oppression from the church.

One Saturday afternoon my girlfriend (at the time) and I were heading to Ikoyi from Festac. We were going to a party and got stuck in this mad traffic. The air conditioner was broken and the heat was unbearable. The weather was oppressive and to top it up my girlfriend picked that time to have a fight with me. I can’t remember what she was on about but it mostly had something to do with a forgotten anniversary and a gift I didn’t buy. I was gutted.

I didn’t want to argue back, I hadn’t the energy to. So I did something I usually did whenever I was in a jam like this; I asked myself “What would Craig David do?”

As if in answer to my question, one of Craig David’s songs came to mind. Yes, it was Walking Away. The lyrics go on about CD (as I liked to call him then) telling us he was walking away from the troubles in his life. I also recalled the music video where he was in a similar situation as mine and he simply got out of the car and walked away, leaving the girl.

I pondered this option.

A part of me considered doing it. It was bold, it was daring and it was what CD would do. I almost did it too but then I had a reality check.

Well, for starters I was the one driving; I just couldn’t switch off the engine and abandon the car there. Secondly it wasn’t my car- though I would have liked to see my Dad’s face if I told him that I simply left his car in traffic at Apapa and walked away because my girlfriend was nagging me. Heaven knows I wouldn’t have hands to be driving my own car today.

The next thought that came to mind was the cost of a tow truck. So let’s say I left the car in mid-traffic and walked away, what next? If I was lucky a Lagos tow-truck would tow the vehicle to the nearest police station and I would be forced to pay through my teeth afterwards (my Dad wasn’t going to pay for sure- my problem my solution) and I couldn’t afford that. If I wasn’t lucky, I may never see that Mazda again. After all that was Tincan-Apapa, much less-attractive cars have been known to get “lost” along that route.

These thoughts flashed across my mind and I shook my head, nah it wasn’t worth all the trouble. Maybe I wasn’t Craig David enough. But even CD must have his own off days. So I sat in the car and took that nag, traffic, heat and all, all the way to Ikoyi. There was no Walking Away for me.

Whenever I think back to that day, I feel glad that I didn’t take the Craig David way. You see, facing my ‘troubles’ prepared and made me stronger for more girl problems I would face ahead. Sometimes simply walking away isn’t the best option.

As for Craig David, he went on to release just one more dope album before he washed out. Some say he put all his talent into the first album which in music circles isn’t such a good idea. Others say he “gymed” away his voice and couldn’t perform anymore. The last time I saw him he was looking like these prize fighters people place bets on in underground fight clubs. Yeah I know, sad really.

I switched the station back to Classic FM when the song was over, hoping to get a more uplifting sound from the nostalgic reverie I had just come out of. The traffic had eased a bit and I drove fast so I could beat the red light changing in front of me.

Click play to listen

P.S: I’m still a fan of CD. Born To Do It was my coming-of-age sound and nothing can change that. I get goose bumps when I listen to Fill Me In, and Rendezvous is my all time favorite Karaoke choice- when I indulge.