My First Time...

This evening I was excited for one reason. I pulled her out of my car, slung her over my shoulders and carried her up to my bedroom. I was in the mood and was finally going to do it this time. After several months of procastinating we decided to kill the suspense and get it over and done with.                                                                                    

                                                            

I looked around me, the ambience was good enough. There was no need for the perfect atmosphere, after all was there such a thing? Most people did it in several places and most often where they found themselves. Besides, my bedroom was the most comfortable place to do it never mind how stereotyped it was. So I threw my laptop on the bed and began to blog for the first time...

Oh, what did you think? Get your minds of the gutters folks.

You see the thing about first times is that you never really know what to expect. For one, it's either a good outcome or a not so good one. And you never can tell when for some reason, a moment of madness just might occur. Like this dude who went for an interview for the first time and told the interviewer that one of his short term goals was to replace him. Does that really work for anyone?

I'll tell you something about my first time. No not that one yet, this one was my first blind date. Back then chat rooms had just become popular and cyber cafes (I wonder why they were called cafes by the way, they never did serve any coffee) in Lagos made lots of money selling 'browsing-time' to customers. I used to buy time to surf the net and spend hours chatting with chics I would never meet. One day I decided to break the stereotype and suggest a face to face meeting with one of them, Geri. I have no idea what gave me that courage because I was generally a shy guy in those early days.

I had two reasons for choosing Geri: first, she was fun to chat with and always fell for my lame jokes so I figured out I wouldn't have to work hard on being funny. Secondly I thought she was tush, I mean how many Nigerian girls (especially born in the eighties) bore the name Geri? It's got to be short for Geraldine or Gerrilyn right? She had to be exotic!

So we did agree to meet that weekend at some eatery in Festac. Am not so sure now but I think its Tantalizers, I forget. I got there first and took a seat facing the window. That way I would appreciate her physique all the way to the glass door. *Wink*. I waited about 30 mins and all the hot chics that came in either had their boyfies with them or their mothers. I drained my milkshake bottle and was about to order another when someone tapped me from behind....

"Richard?"

I started from the bathroom slippers up the length of the faded jeans, over-sized blouse before stopping to stare at the face of the girl in front of me. She had the most ridiculous hair-do I had ever seen even at the time and could hardly be described as pretty. But that wasn't all. She lacked pigmentation.... She was an albino! Now for the record, I dont have a thing against pigmentation or lack there of but the whole situation threw me off balance and I was almost forced to deny myself. It was a far cry from what I had painted in my mind's eye.

"Yes?" I gasped

"I am Obiageri", she said smiling.

So it turns out that Geri is short for Obiageri and pronunced Gay-ri not Jeri. I cursed my colourful imagination for getting the better of me.

"I am very happy to finally  meet you...", she continued.

But that was all I heard the whole evening. The rest of the date was a blur and it was the last time I got really fresh on-line with a girl whose picture I hadn't seen. Not that it helped though, but I had to wait few years later for Hi-5 and then Facebook to be invented.

Today I don't do blind dates, but if for some reason I am convinced to, I usually request an image first, no kidding. How many awkward first times have you had and care to share? It's not always that bad I assure you but then we get those days.



That's all for now folks, thanks for stopping by.